Resilience isn’t about avoiding hard times—it’s about how we rise after we fall. Life has thrown challenges I never saw coming, and while I wouldn’t have chosen those experiences, I’ve learned so much about myself through them.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that resilience isn’t about pushing through at all costs. It’s about pausing, taking a breath, and giving yourself the time and space to heal.
The Science of Resilience: More Than Just Grit
Positive Psychology research shows that resilience isn’t simply about “toughing it out” or suppressing emotions. Instead, it involves a set of skills that help us adapt to challenges in a way that promotes long-term wellbeing.
Dr Martin Seligman, a pioneer in Positive Psychology, highlights that resilience is built through optimism, cognitive flexibility, meaning-making, and strong social connections (Seligman, 2011). This means that resilience is less about enduring suffering alone and more about how we interpret our experiences and engage with the world around us.
Key Lessons in Resilience
1. Gratitude is a Game-Changer
Gratitude isn’t about ignoring pain or forcing positivity—it’s about recognising what is still good, even in difficult times. Studies have shown that practising gratitude can increase happiness, reduce depression, and improve overall life satisfaction (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
For me, gratitude reminds me that even on the hardest days, there’s always something to hold onto—whether it’s a kind message from a friend, a warm cup of tea, or a moment of peace.
2. Mindfulness Helps Us Stay Present
Resilience isn’t just about the past or future—it’s about how we show up in the present. Mindfulness, or the practice of bringing our attention to the moment without judgement, has been shown to reduce stress, lower anxiety, and improve emotional regulation (Kabat-Zinn, 1990). Mindfulness gives us the clarity to respond, rather than react, to life’s challenges.
3. Strengths Help Us Navigate Challenges
Challenges don’t just shape us—they reveal strengths we didn’t know we had. According to research on Character Strengths and Virtues (Peterson & Seligman, 2004), using our unique strengths—whether it’s creativity, courage, or perseverance—enhances our ability to cope with adversity.
When we focus on what we’re naturally good at, we navigate difficult moments in a way that feels true to who we are. For example, if you’re someone who thrives on problem-solving, reframing challenges as puzzles to be solved can help shift your perspective.
Not sure what your strengths are? Take a moment to think about a time you overcame a challenge. What qualities helped you through? Was it your creativity in finding a solution? Your courage to take action? Your ability to stay hopeful? Recognising these strengths can help you lean into them during future challenges.
4. Reframing Setbacks as Growth Opportunities
How we think about adversity shapes how we experience it. Research on Post-Traumatic Growth (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004) suggests that after difficult experiences, many people emerge with a deeper appreciation for life, stronger relationships, and a greater sense of personal strength. Reframing setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth can help us build resilience and bring us closer to a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling.
Resilience Is Nurtured Through Connection
If you’re navigating something hard right now, know this: resilience doesn’t mean doing it all alone. It means leaning on the tools, practices, and people who lift you up. Resilience is nurtured in community, self-compassion, and intentional self-care. It means letting yourself feel, giving yourself grace, and knowing that the hard times won’t last forever.
How Do You Cultivate Resilience?
Now it’s your turn—what’s one thing that has helped you bounce back during tough times? Whether it’s gratitude, a support network, or something unique to you, I’d love to hear what’s made a difference in your journey. Let’s build resilience together.
If you'd like any support or to learn more about our programs please contact jo@jokathleenmarie.com.
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